12 pieces of advice for newlyweds

Will and I are on the cusp of having been married for an entire year.  This basically means that we know all of the things!  (That’s a joke)

After five months of marriage we wrote about 5 things we learned in five months of marriage.  I figure it’s about time that we share our 12 tips for those of you about to embark on the adventure of marriage.  I reached out to my Instagram friends for help.  Peep their advice below!

Before I get ahead of myself though, if you want to follow along with our adventures of newlywed life, turning a house into a home, and all of the highs and lows of everyday life, click the subscribe button on the right (or at the bottom if you’re on mobile).  It doesn’t send you crazy stuff or give your information to anyone—it just sends blog updates directly to you!

Without further ado, sit down, grab a pen, your BFF (aka soon-to-be or brand new spouse) and take this advice to heart.  We obviously know what we’re talking about.

(DISCLAIMER: I feel like I will have to be married about ten million years before actually offering advice on big subjects.  Let’s just have some fun together today.)

#1. You WILL adjust.

Times of transition can be difficult, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself.  I’ve had girlfriends who cried their eyes out on their first night home from the honeymoon because they were afraid of change.  I’ve known couples who have gone to counseling in their first year of marriage.  I even once had a boyfriend exclaim that “marriage isn’t that hard!” to a couple struggling through their early years and a woman going through a divorce.

Embrace the transition.  Recognize things are going to change and try not to fight it.  

#2. You will find your own habits and routines as a couple.

This is a great thing!  But it does take time.  One of the biggest areas of adjustment in a new marriage can be learning that your time is shared now.  

#3. “Don’t compare.

“Don’t compare your relationship/marriage to anyone else’s.  Learn from others but never compare.”-Kristina

#4. “Always give your spouse the best of yourself.

“Don’t give your best to everyone else and then give your spouse the leftovers.” -Kristina

#5.  “Grow together and embrace the changes in one another.

“Love each other for who you are today, not who you were or who you could be.” -Phillip

Related post: 13 Things to do Unplugged with your Spouse

#6. “Laugh a lot!

“Don’t take life too seriously.”-Caroline

#7.  “Prioritize time together.” -Will

Thanks for the contribution, husband.  ❤  I absolutely agree!  Determine your marriage priorities together and then stick to them.  If you have your priorities in line, decisions become more clear.

#8. “Learn to communicate now, even over the smallest things!”-Marly

Amen, sister!  Communication is key.  

#9. Unmet expectations are a trap.

We often have expectations of each other, of ourselves, of our circumstances, etc.  Unmet expectations can create problems unless you realize what is happening and how to manage it.  

#10.  Be honest.

If you are upset, be honest.  Don’t be afraid to ask each other questions to understand wants, needs, and expectations.

#11.  Don’t expect your spouse to change overnight.

First of all, if you don’t express a need for change (in a loving way) but instead keep your feelings to yourself, everything will stay the same.  And once you do express a need for change, don’t expect your spouse to get everything right from then on out.  They’re still human.  Which brings me to my last piece of advice.

#12. Allow your spouse to be human.

Just as you give yourself grace on a bad day, or after a frustrating experience, you need to extend the same courtesy to your spouse.  Don’t hold them on a pedestal OR expect them to always fall short.  They have bad days, feelings of anxiety, and other human tendencies just like you.

BONUS!  Never stop being friends.

Congratulations on being a newlywed or an almost-newlywed!  Praying God’s blessings over your marriage, that you will have patience with one another, that you will LOVE each other in every season (even when you don’t like each other all that much), and that you embrace becoming one whole heartedly.

Until next time,
Jamie out.

10 Creative Winter Date Ideas

I have a confession to make.  I LOVE going on dates with my husband.  When we have one planned, I literally look forward to it all week.  I think about what I’m going to wear and what we might do, but mostly I’m just excited to spend that quality time with my best friend.

Anyone else’s love language quality time?  Getting to spend time together just the two of us is worth so much more to me than any other display of affection.  

Will is really great at planning dates.  He usually doesn’t even tell me what we’re doing.  He gives me as little information as possible and then surprises me as we go along.  It’s fantastic.  

You would think that because we love hiking and exploring that winter might be a little bit of a downer for us.  But really, we just get to enjoy a whole different realm of the dating world.  So without further ado, here are our top 10 winter date ideas.

Take a cooking class together

Or if you don’t want to go to a class, you could find a recipe you want to try and then make it together in your kitchen.  But if you cook all the time in your own kitchen and you want to be inspired by someone else’s genius, Google the most recommended cooking classes in your area and sign up!  

This is such a unique date idea that you will definitely make some memories.  Instead of all the dinner and a movie dates that begin to blend together, this one will stand out among the rest.  So take a chance and get cooking!

Have a game night with a prize for the winner

You could even turn this into a double date, winner take all!  Will and I registered for some games when we were getting married, and I also got a really good one for Christmas.  Our favorite game lately has been a Harry Potter deck building card game that has consumed our most recent date nights.  You don’t have to know much of anything about Harry Potter to enjoy the strategy of the game, but if you do it will make it that much more fun.  

Other favorites for game nights include Catan, Sequence, and Nertz.

Go to a hockey game

We have a local hockey team here in Fayetteville.  I also went to university in Canada and went to the rec hockey games almost every week.  It was a blast.  

Get bundled up for the ice rink for your hockey date and prepare to eat classic sporting event cuisine like nachos and hot-dogs.  Try to snap a photo with the mascot and catch a free t-shirt that you know they will be launching into the stands.   

Go on a winter hike

Why should a little cold weather stop you from exploring the great outdoors?  Put on your good hiking boots and find a trail you’ve been dying to try.  Ask around with locals to find the perfect wintery spot and set out in your adventuremobile for some great exploring together.  Winter doesn’t have to be enjoyed solely from your very cozy couch.  

Go to a local museum neither of you have been to before

I’ll be honest, this one is high on my list.  Is there a mansion-turned-museum where you live?  Those are my favorite.  What about a cool transportation museum that really tells the story of where you live?  Or how about an art museum with a cool new exhibit?  Try something new—maybe an interest you haven’t explored together yet—and get to know each other a little more as you spend some time with culture.

Go to a trivia night

This is super fun, whether you know the answers or not!  Will and I recently went to a Christmas movie trivia night with my sister and brother-in-law and had a blast!  I only knew like two of the answers and my family carried us all the way to second or third place, but we still had so much fun.  We ate tasty appetizers and tried different drinks, and all just had a really good time together.  

Take a look on Facebook events or ask some local restaurants if they know of any trivia nights around you.  The host at our trivia night knew a slew of others around town we could try out in the future.

Catch a play

I grew up going to a lot of plays with my mom and sister.  I think it is something that I look a little for granted, to be honest.  Now that I am an adult I hardly ever get to go to plays and shows.  I took my sister on a sister date once to see Avenue Q when it was in town and it was every bit as hilarious and inappropriate as I thought it would be.

Even if plays aren’t necessarily your thing, give it a try to do something a little different.  It will definitely create a more lasting memory for you two!

Try indoor rock climbing

I’ll be honest, this one intimidates me because I often feel out of shape, and I also have bad wrists.  However, if you are fit and adventurous and down for trying something new and different, this is a fantastic winter option!  First of all, it’s indoors.  Secondly, it is active.  Thirdly, it is DIFFERENT!  And if you can’t tell by now, I’m a sucker for different date ideas because I’m all about lasting memories and trying creative things that are out of the norm.

See a movie at the fanciest theatre in town

Okay, so I know this may sound normal and routine to you, but trust me.  Especially if you can somehow pull off the surprise date.  Does your significant other really want to see a specific movie that’s out?  Do they know that a small theatre downtown recently renovated and upgraded to heated reclining seats in all of the auditoriums?  Do they enjoy a little wine with their movie?  Pull out all the stops—don’t make this just any other dinner and a movie date.  Make this a reclining seat and wine movie date with Jason Momoa in Aquaman.

(Disclaimer: Will, I don’t actually want to see Aquaman so don’t take me to that one.  Haha.)

All right, friend, my job of inspiring you is over!  Now it’s your turn to plan and execute!  Good luck and happy dating!

Until next time,
Jamie out.