5 things I learned in 5 months of marriage

Will and I just recently celebrated five months of being married!  We’re basically experts on the topic now.

Joking.

We were blessed to go through very little long distance time during dating and a lot of one on one time to get to know one another.  We asked each other a lot of hard questions, ranging from politics and religion, to hopes and dreams.  We were very intentional from the beginning about getting to know one another in a safe and healthy way, and to see if this could be the real thing.

Obviously, we got married, so we feel pretty strongly about one another.  We still continue to learn and grow in our relationship, and we’re not here to offer advice.  This is just us sharing us, and the five things we have learned in our five months of marriage.

I am not a morning person!

I do not want to see or hear another human being in the morning.  If I have to speak, it’s even worse.  Text?  Heck to the no.  Give me a shower in peace.  Let me get ready without interrupting my train of thought.  Give me coffee and back away slowly.

I gave Will fair warning on this one.  We even asked some advice from a couple of our good friends who are also opposites in this area.  The husband is the morning person while the wife is not.  He said that it took him a long time to realize that it was nothing personal—that they were just different and it wasn’t a bad thing.  They even get ready in different bathrooms in the morning!

Let’s be honest, we aren’t always on our best behavior, and our spouse sees that side more than others.  This will probably be a constant area of growth for us as a couple, and for me especially once we have kids.  I would love to love the morning time so if you have any recommendations, I would love to hear them!

 

PooPourri is no joke.

I thought it was, but boy was I wrong.  In amongst all of our wedding gifts, we came across a bottle of “PooPourri” in a lavender scent.  I laughed, “Haha!  What a great gift!  Newlyweds can’t poop around each other.  In fact, women don’t poop at all!”  

If you don’t know, PooPourri comes in multiple scents, in a little spray bottle that you are supposed to spray into a toilet before… well, you know.  It uses essential oils to trap odors.

I set the gift aside and it became an anecdote that I shared with friends and family during wedding week.  I secretly thought it would be great in a guest bathroom, just in case.  

Friends, you don’t need details, but let’s just say that after a bad experience with Mexican food and a very long night to follow, PooPourri will be a staple in our household.  In every bathroom.  Until the end of time.

 

He might want to order his own fries.

“Joey doesn’t share food!”

From a guy who had never seen Friends before we started dating, Will took to this quote like a fat kid on cake.  I’m ashamed to say that the first time Will insisted I order my own fries, I got a little hurt.  

Okay, maybe more than just a little.  I sat and sulked through the entire meal and continued to bring it up even weeks afterwards.

Just because we expect things to go one way, doesn’t mean that they will.  I realized that my parents always share their french fries.  They order a bigger size to share and I’ve always found it super adorable.  Will, on the other hand, didn’t find me wanting to eat his french fries all that endearing.  

Some issues in relationships can arise from unmet expectations.  If I find myself getting upset, I try to evaluate where it’s coming from, and if I realize I had an expectation that isn’t being met, I know where the emotion is coming from.  I also find it important to communicate with Will when that happens.  

“I can’t eat a small thing of french fries by myself most of the time,” I explained.  “So I feel like I’m wasting money for just a couple fries.”  

We’ve decided that springing for a large to share is a good idea for us.

 

Laundry becomes a huge thing.

Like… there’s only two of us.  How can washing clothes, drying clothes, and folding clothes become so much of an  exponentially larger chore than it was for just one person?  We don’t even have kids or pets!  

Also, I have never owned my own washer and dryer.  I have been trespassing on the hospitality of my family since I moved out in 2012.  Now that Will and I have been at a hotel for the past three months, I have been using the hotel’s (very inexpensive and stubborn) washer and dryer that work about half of the time.  I often have an explosion of clothing hanging up to dry in our bedroom.  And because it takes about three or four hours to dry three loads of laundry, folding everything gets put on the back-burner and… you get the idea.  

 

Sleeping in the same bed is my favorite thing ever.

Also, not having to say goodbye at the end of the day is fantastic.

Will and I did not live together before we got married.  He never slept over at my apartment.  Not even once.  And because I lived alone and there was no built-in accountability roommate, we avoided ever being in my bedroom together like the plague. 

Our number one, very favorite thing about being married is getting to sleep in the same bed.  It’s kind of like having a sleepover with your best friend every single night.  

So, for any newlyweds or engaged couples, I guess the only advice I would dare to give at this point is that if you can swing going to bed at the same time as one another, you should absolutely do it.  The pillow talk is great and it is a super special time for just the two of you.  It also gets you on the same sleeping schedule, and that has been helpful for me and Will out here in Arizona.  

 

Like I said, I feel like I need to have been married for about a decade before I can give solid marriage advice, so I’m not about that life on this blog just yet.  I think marriage advice from me would be the same as me trying to give a mom parenting advice—just bad news.  But I AM here to share our lives and experiences.  

If you dig it, give this post a like!  Have any advice for us, other newlyweds, or engaged couples?  Leave it in the comments below!  Don’t forget to hit that subscribe button and join our family.

Until next time,
Jamie out.

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