Will and I are on the cusp of having been married for an entire year. This basically means that we know all of the things! (That’s a joke)
After five months of marriage we wrote about 5 things we learned in five months of marriage. I figure it’s about time that we share our 12 tips for those of you about to embark on the adventure of marriage. I reached out to my Instagram friends for help. Peep their advice below!
Before I get ahead of myself though, if you want to follow along with our adventures of newlywed life, turning a house into a home, and all of the highs and lows of everyday life, click the subscribe button on the right (or at the bottom if you’re on mobile). It doesn’t send you crazy stuff or give your information to anyone—it just sends blog updates directly to you!
Without further ado, sit down, grab a pen, your BFF (aka soon-to-be or brand new spouse) and take this advice to heart. We obviously know what we’re talking about.
(DISCLAIMER: I feel like I will have to be married about ten million years before actually offering advice on big subjects. Let’s just have some fun together today.)
#1. You WILL adjust.
Times of transition can be difficult, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself. I’ve had girlfriends who cried their eyes out on their first night home from the honeymoon because they were afraid of change. I’ve known couples who have gone to counseling in their first year of marriage. I even once had a boyfriend exclaim that “marriage isn’t that hard!” to a couple struggling through their early years and a woman going through a divorce.
Embrace the transition. Recognize things are going to change and try not to fight it.
#2. You will find your own habits and routines as a couple.
This is a great thing! But it does take time. One of the biggest areas of adjustment in a new marriage can be learning that your time is shared now.
#3. “Don’t compare.
“Don’t compare your relationship/marriage to anyone else’s. Learn from others but never compare.”-Kristina
#4. “Always give your spouse the best of yourself.
“Don’t give your best to everyone else and then give your spouse the leftovers.” -Kristina
#5. “Grow together and embrace the changes in one another.
“Love each other for who you are today, not who you were or who you could be.” -Phillip
Related post: 13 Things to do Unplugged with your Spouse
#6. “Laugh a lot!
“Don’t take life too seriously.”-Caroline
#7. “Prioritize time together.” -Will
Thanks for the contribution, husband. ❤ I absolutely agree! Determine your marriage priorities together and then stick to them. If you have your priorities in line, decisions become more clear.
#8. “Learn to communicate now, even over the smallest things!”-Marly
Amen, sister! Communication is key.
#9. Unmet expectations are a trap.
We often have expectations of each other, of ourselves, of our circumstances, etc. Unmet expectations can create problems unless you realize what is happening and how to manage it.
#10. Be honest.
If you are upset, be honest. Don’t be afraid to ask each other questions to understand wants, needs, and expectations.
#11. Don’t expect your spouse to change overnight.
First of all, if you don’t express a need for change (in a loving way) but instead keep your feelings to yourself, everything will stay the same. And once you do express a need for change, don’t expect your spouse to get everything right from then on out. They’re still human. Which brings me to my last piece of advice.
#12. Allow your spouse to be human.
Just as you give yourself grace on a bad day, or after a frustrating experience, you need to extend the same courtesy to your spouse. Don’t hold them on a pedestal OR expect them to always fall short. They have bad days, feelings of anxiety, and other human tendencies just like you.
BONUS! Never stop being friends.
Congratulations on being a newlywed or an almost-newlywed! Praying God’s blessings over your marriage, that you will have patience with one another, that you will LOVE each other in every season (even when you don’t like each other all that much), and that you embrace becoming one whole heartedly.
Until next time,